Bad Day.

Not having a good day. Actually having a really really bad day and really really really want to eat bad things.

biggest loser day 5

Woke up this morning fresh from my rest day. Did my 2 mile run in 30minutes which means I knocked 3 minutes off my previous time.

the next thing was a 5 mile run at 11am. Though Matt did say I probably wouldn't manage that at this stage so it will be part run part walk. After doing so well with this mornings run I thought if I go up to ogden where it is relatively flat 5 mile is 4 times round - I can do that!

No I can't!

I managed to run constantly for about 1 3/4 laps after that I ran a bit, walked a bit but walked the last lap and a half with no running.

I'm not bothered about not running all of it as I had already run 2 miles and I know I did as much as I could and worked hard. The way I see it with each day I'm getting lighter an my muscles are getting stronger. so I'll be able to run further soon enough.

I did do something stupid though. Because I didn't want to be needing the toilet all the time when running I drank very little this morning. By the time I got back from the 5 miles I was quite light headed and not feeling well. It was obvious I was dehydrated so I started drinking as much water as possible but it was too late, I've not been well all afternoon and still aren't too good now.

I had to go buy a new tumble drier this afternoon and I was in the shop looking at them when I went really dizzy... really dizzy. I stood still and waited for it to pass and it did but it took a lot longer than I would have expected, I was starting to get worried.

Because of that I didn't go and do my weights session at 3 like I was supposed to, I gave myself longer to recover. I did go though and do everything I was supposed to, just later than intended.

I'm in bed now hoping to get to sleep early so I'm wide awake for the RPM class in the morning.

I really hope I've lost a fair bit of weight this week. I should have done but I don't know as I've been good and not weighed myself. I made a lot of bold statements after getting weighed on Monday. Things like losing a stone in the first week. I think I've watched too many episodes of the biggest loser.

I know realisticaly a stone is unlikely so I'm not going to be bothered about that but I really hope after all the effort I've put in this week it is a decent weight loss.

Biggest loser day 4

thursday 13th August

It was a rest day today. It was also my son's 18th Birthday. Just because it was a rest day it doesn't mean I was lazy and binge ate. I was very good. Ok so I didn't do much because I was spending time with Stephen on his birthday and letting him torture me with his music when I wasn't driving or sitting in a restaurant. But when I went to the supermarket I still parked in the furthest away spot and when I went to JJB's at birstall I ignored the escalator and walked briskly up the stairs.

I was particularly proud of myself in the restauant. I don't like fish. Matt keeps saying he wants to put it on my diet but I don't have to eat it if I really don't like it. I said I will do at least for these 6 weeks. We went to Frankie and Bennies. So many yummy things on the menu. The old me would have said 'well my son only turns 18 once, it's a celebration, it's not every day I come here' but I didn't I looked at the menu and there were no healthy starters so I didn't have one. There were a couple of relatively healthy choices for main course but most I couldn't really be sure what was in them and I thought. Well if I have fish here I know it's cooked right as I'm not sure what I'm doing and my house won't stink of fish.

So I had baked salmon, steamed veg and a jacket potato with no butter. I ignored all the things I really wanted. I knew Stephen wanted desert and wouldn't have any if it was just him so I had the lemon and mango sorbet. I would have prefered the caramel and pecan cheesecake.

Biggest Loser day 3

When I woke this morning I don't think there was a single bit of my body that didn't hurt however I seemed to manage better than Tuesday as i did manage to run the whole 2 miles. It took me 33 minutes. It wasn't easy and I felt like I was dying by the end of it but I managed it.

At 11 I had a boxing session with Matt. I really do enjoy that. It's fun even if I do feel silly doing it. I was absolutely exhausted though. It was really difficult. Then just to finish it off Matt put me on the stair master which was torture.

At 3 I did a weights circuit at the gym. That was ok but I couldn't do the shoulder press. I just couldn't do it. Think I will have to do that more often and keep trying.

After that I went to give blood. It is the first time I have done that for about 9 or 10 years and it has never bothered me in the past but this time it did. As I was on my way home I went really hot and started feeling woozy. With hinesite I probably should have pulled over but I didn't think of that at the time. It continued all evening so I didn't go for the walk or do the ab work.

biggest loser day 2

When I woke up on Tuesday morning I HURT! I started to realise that maybe Matt had had a point. I had been whinging about the exercise plan and saying that I wasn't sure it was enough. I kept going on about how the people on the biggest loser do 6 hours a day. Matt said that what was planned was enough and if we did more that that at this point by week 2 I wouldn't be able to do anything.

I reluctantly agreed but that was partly why I went a lot further than I was supposed to on last nights walk.

This morning I struggled. I really struggled to get out of bed and put my things on and go out for my 2 mile run. I tried, I really did but I just couldn't make my legs keep going. I eventually had to give up trying to run and walk. The route I take means I go back passed my house before I'm finished and I considered just going home but thought no, if I can't run it I can at least finish it walking and then at least I'm burning some calories. so I did, but I was pretty fed up about it.

At 11 I went to the gym for a cardio session. I did summit trainer, bike and cross trainer but I didn't do as much as I would usually do on them because I was struggling so much (I also hadn't slept well Monday night)

Back to the gym at 3 for a weights session. That went ok but when I just do weights it seems to be over quickly and then I'm at a loss as to what I should be doing. i think I'm better doing both cardio and weights together. If I do them alternate it means I can manage more cardio and I'm not wondering what to do when the weights are over.

In the evening I went for a walk but this time stuck to the plan. I put 2.2kg worth of weights in a rucksack and took Bonnie for a walk. I thought I would struggle with the rucksack but I actually hardly even noticed it. I walked onto a area that is just on the road where I haven't been for ages (now I can drive I tend to go to Ogden instead) and when I got to a section where you can carry on at the top where it is easy or you can follow a path that goes down the banking I was about to follow the top path out of habit but then thought about it.

That bottom path has a very steep difficult bit that I was never able to get past. It scared me just looking at it and I knew I couldn't do it but one time I did try and ended up on my hands and knees hanging on and had to scramble back up to where I'd come from. I used to let the kids go that way and I'd walk along the top.

I thought 'I bet I can do it now' so went that way. I started thinking about something else, my mind was wondering, then I suddenly realised I was passed what I used to think was the scary bit and was on my way up the other side. I had walked down it without even thinking about it.

That put me in a brilliant mood. I may have put weight back on and be more unfit than the stage I did manage to get to but there is nothing like a reminder like that of how much more I can do and how much easier things are than before I started to put a big smile on my face.

Then I got to the bit where you have to go back up to the top path. I used to watch the kids scrambling up there and wonder how on earth they managed it 'it's practically vertical!' I went up it and yes, it's steep, it made me pant but it really wasn't that bad, it is a very short distance.

Then the next part. Again 2 choices. Carry on the top path where it is completely flat or follow the path that goes back down to the more interesting leafy, meadowy part. I did used to go down there because the path going down is much more gentle and when you get down there you again have 2 choices walk along the flat or there are very steep mounds and dips where kids ride their bikes and skateboards. My kids would run up and down them whilst I stood on the flat bit panicking and covering my face and shouting at them to be careful.

When I got to that bit I walked up to the top of one of the mounds and looked down and thought 'dare I?' and walked down and up the other side (maybe next time I'll run) then I walked on and got to the next one which was even steeper. I was very unsure about that one, took a step forward and felt the ground start to move under my foot, stepped back and walked round. HAHAHA I'm still a wuss.

At the end of that bit there is again a steep banking to get back up to the top path. That was always the end of the walk. I would turn around and retrace my steps back home. Not now, I went up the banking and carried on the top path that now went into a more rocky path that I never used to go on because it was past the point I turned around. When I got to the end of there I looked at my watch and it was about time to be heading home anyway so it worked out really well.

When I got home it had been 50minutes, just 5 minutes over what I was supposed to be doing and I had really enjoyed it so that was a good end to the second day.

Biggest Loser day 1

When I woke up on Monday morning I felt ill. Overeating to excess and with very unhealthy fatty food when you have no gall bladder is not a good idea. I had been feeling gradually worse for a while and Monday was really bad.

Still, I couldn't give in on day one so I set off and ran 2 mile before breakfast as Matt had instructed. I was suprised at how difficult it was. I had been saying to myself 'it's only 2 miles' I mean I did 13 miles (though didn't run it all) on the great north run. But it seems I'm back to struggling with just 2 mile. Just goes to show how unfit I've got again.

I'm not back to how I was though. I'm not 21st 7lb and unable to run at all like I used to be.

Then I went to the gym where Matt weighed me and took photos. He was going to measure me too but we both forgot. The photos weren't that good because what I was wearing pretty much covered everything.

I weigh 109.9kg which is 17st 4lb

17st 4lb !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god. That is just awful.

My body fat is 47.6% and my bmi is 34.7

I had already been thinking about the photos and thought no matter how awful I wanted realistic and accurate before pictures showing what I manage to achieve. On the biggest loser they take the photos in shorts and sports bra's so if they can do that so can I. So I did my own later at home. Though it is actually really difficult taking photos of yourself. getting the camera in the right position.

I was supposed to go out for a 45 minute walk with a weighted rucksack that evening. I forgot the rucksack but ended up walking for 1hr 40minutes. When I set off I walked down the road but then I decided to go find a park I knew was in the area. It's a strange place, you would be unlikely to find it if you didn't know it was there even though it is a big park and woodland. It is totally surrounded by houses with just little paths here and there that lead into it. I had lived in the area for years without ever knowing about it until one day I was walking Bonnie with the children and said 'lets go see where that path leads.

It was nice to go back there, it is a long time since I last went there and the path back up through the woodland is quite hard work. I was pretty exhausted by the time I got home. Then I did ab work and press ups.

Right now I'm going to post the photos Matt took and the photo's I took. They are pretty horrendous but I don't care because that isn't going to be me anymore.

biggest loser

ok so I haven't been doing my blog since starting on Monday as promised but I have a rest day tomorrow so will definitly do it then. With photos - shocking photos. But if the people on the biggest loser can let the world see them like that I can let a handful of people see them and then see the change.

Shorts and sports bra just like they do on the biggest loser.