Bad Morning.

Today has really not gone well so far. I was supposed to be doing a 6mile run this morning but that has turned into a 4 mile walk.

I have tried not to let the time of the month effect things and I have certainly managed that with the food and mostly with the exercise. Up until today if it has effected the exercise it has been hardly at all.

But last night it started again and I felt sick. I don't sleep well when Stephen is out anyway as he was last night (and these days he doesn't get in until after 5am) but added to that I just felt queezy all night and couldn't sleep and the few times I did manage to fall asleep I was having strange dreams and waking up feeling bad and also in a panick wondering if Stephen was home yet.

This morning I still felt sick and also felt light headed and woozy. I set off running and made it to the end of the road. I walked up the hill and then tried running again. For about 2 mile I kept part walking part running though I think there was more walking than running and then after that I walked another 2 miles and just gave up.

I still feel ill. My head is woozy, i don't feel right and I still feel queezy and pains in my back.

If I really was on the biggest loser I would be getting chucked out this week.

Day 11

Despite feeling crap I did what I was supposed to this morning, well sort of. I went for my 2 mile run but just couldn't manage it. I ran most of it, I'd say over 3/4 but I walked up the big hill and my finishing time was 34 minutes. 4 minutes longer than last time.

Then I went to the RPM class. I really wasn't looking forward to that after last time. I got there early enough to reserve a bike next to the door and it turned out to be a very small class, only 6 people, I think.

It was deffinitely better without pmt and knowing I could escape if I needed to. I was also more prepared for not being able to hear and paid more attention to what Matt was doing than what he was saying and copied him. I did seem to be able to hear more too though but I think a big part of that was lip reading.

I don't think I'll ever like RPM, in fact I hate it, but it didn't make me want to cry today.

Then I suddenly got a pain in the inside of my thigh, and again with each turn. I looked down and realised the rubber bit was missing off the end of the metal bit the seat is attached to and it was jabbing into both my thighs with each turn. I couldn't carry on like that so I stopped and moved to the next bike.

The fact that that was happening because my thighs are fat didn't escape me.

I had just got the new bike set up and got on and I looked up and realised I'd put myself directly behind someone and could no longer see Matt. That made following what I was supposed to be doing for the rest of the class much more difficult.

I just can't win with those RPM classes can I.

Anyway I deffinitely didn't do as well as anyone else there but I didn't run away I completed the whole class and this time I flipping did work hard.

I was absolutely knackered but by the time I went back for my cardio and weights session I was feeling much better. I did work hard again and again I was absolutely knackered but by the time I went for my walk later I was feeling much better again.

I'm now wondering if this treand today of speedy recovery is a result of getting fitter and going to continue or if it is just because it is the first day after a rest day.

I really enjoyed the walk. I went a way I've not been before but have often wondered where it goes. It was really nice, there are some beautiful areas around here but why why why do the most beautiful walks end up at some point with me on a slippery slanty path next to a huge drop? It scares the life out of me. I don't like it.

The biggest suprise today is that for tea I made oven baked salmon and steamed broccoli and I didn't hate it! In fact... if I'm totally honest I thought it was quite nice.

I'm so looking forward to Matt saying I told you so.

Not looking forward to today

My body has finally decided to get on with it and start properly and I have realised that the period pains I had before were just mild tremors before the main event.

Hell I feel awful and I've now got to go do a 2 mile run and then an RPM class. Still looking on the brightside hopefully this means all the bloating will definitely be gone before Mondays weigh in.

I plan on getting to the gym an hour before the class to make sure I reserve a bike by the door so I can run away when I want.

cooking day

All the cooking done. Bland and tasteless with everything unhealthy taken out. I don't care what they say quorn is NOT the same and I don't believe reduced fat cheese is actually cheese.

So tomorrow I have a 2 mile run before breakfast, a RPM class, a weights and cardio session and an hour walk. I'm so looking forward to it.

I wish today was longer.

Best bit of today was watching the weigh in on the biggest loser thinking 'I beat him... I beat her...' I beat everyone except one man who equled me at 11lb lost.

oh ok, so it's my first week. I don't care It still felt good.

Biggest Loser

I'm currently watching the biggest loser and am thinking 'I'm so glad Matt doesn't watch this' I'm not going to say why in case he reads this and it gives him ideas. No one in the RPM class would ever forgive me.

Then the trainer is screaming at them 'STOP CRYING AND GO' Maybe matt isn't so bad hahaha.

Today is a rest day and I'm so relieved. I don't think I could have done another day. I still ache but I'm using today to cook, so that everything is ready the rest of the week in the freezer when I need it. I'm making shepherds pie, chilli con carne, bolognese (I'll cook the spaghetti to go with it when I need it) and lasagne.

Healthy versions of the recipe's I have, leaving out as much fat as possible, using quorn mince and things like that.

I parked in the furthest away spot when I went to the supermarket but that is as much exercise as I've done today.

I didn't get out of bed until 9am. I don't think I've stayed in bed that late in my entire adult life.

Day 9 in the Halifax biggest loser house.

I've just finnished the last thing I have to do today and that is it, no more until Thursday. Thank God! I didn't know it was possible to be this exhausted.

I started this morning with my 2 mile run. At one point I looked at my watch and it said 24 minutes and I didn't think I was that far from home. It seemed certain I would beat my previous time and that spurred me on. When I rounded the corner onto my road I decided to run the final bit as fast as I could and I did. As I reached my house I looked at my watch - 30 minutes, exactly the same as last time.

Then at lunch time I went swimming again. This time I really enjoyed it. For some reason it seemed easier this time and I went faster. I even had to move into the medium lane at one point. I didn't count my lengths yesterday but I did today and I did 30 so I'll see how that compares to next time.

This afternoon I went to the gym but by then I was absolutely shattered and just wanted to sleep. I tried but didn't really do that much. I did 10 minutes on the subit trainer. then some weights then 10 minutes on the bike and then some more weights but not much and then I gave up.

This evening I was supposed to do a 3 mile run. I didn't know how I was even going to attempt it the way I was feeling but I didn't do bad. I didn't run it all but I ran quite a bit probably a little bit less than half which was more than I thought I was going to be able to do.

I'm soooo tired. I haven't even got the energy to go finish cleaning the bathroom. Still I have all day tomorrow. Or then again I might just sleep.

Don't want to!

Do you think if I cry and stamp my feet and say 'I DON'T WANT TO!' it'll get me out of doing the 3 mile run I still have to do today?

I'm so very very tired.