weigh in

I've put on a pound. I am now 16st 1lb.

On saturday I had fried chicken and chips for lunch at paintballing as there was no choice. I also had 1 malibu and lemonade at the pub after before going onto the diet coke.

Of course the fact that I also burned off 1800 cal paintballing that day is irrelivant isn't it. Also the fact that I'd worked damn hard every day that week and had eaten between 1200 and 1500 cal a day doesn't matter does it.

Even on my rest day I went to the trafford center so spent the day walking up and down. When it turned out the people I was meeting for lunch were going to be really late and I was very hungry so I said I would just get a snack and we would have lunch when we got there I could have easily got a cookie from one of the stalls or a packet of crisps from somewhere or something in a coffee shop but I didn't. i spent ages walking up and down the damn place searching for something healthy and eventually found they sold fruit in the selfridges food hall by which time it was almost time to meet people for lunch anyway.

But none of that matters does it.

I can't keep doing this for nothing. Working so damn hard at a losing battle where it is impossible for me to make a difference. I've told Matt today I'm thinking of giving up and I'm going to give it a month but to be honest I don't feel like giving it a month. At the moment I just want to give up now and accept the inevitable.