eating too much

Well once again today is the day I'm allowed to eat whatever and however much I want for tea and supper. I am allowed this once every 2 weeks. I always look forward to it. I'm always thinking about what I'm going to eat next time.

Today is typical of every time. I decided I wanted pie and chips for tea. That might be suprising, pretty basic and unimaginative when I could eat anything but it is something that I used to eat regularly and aren't allowed anymore. It was nice.... but I'm sure a quater of the portion I had would have been just as nice. I ate loads. So much I was stuffed and uncomfortable and couldn't face the pudding.

I waited a little while but not too long then forced a huge portion of pudding down, why do I feel I have to because I'm allowed and I won't be able to tomorrow?I am now sat here feeling sick and not well and unable to move and thinking 'but what about the bacon and cream cheese bagels and thick toast with loads of butter I was going to have for supper?'I just can't eat the way I used to.

Maybe one day I will learn about moderation when I'm not being forced and it is my own choice?

anyway in other news I have been losing and putting weight on, always in large degrees. This week I have lost 6lb but not because of extremes. I have just stuck to the plan and I'm hoping that means I will continue to lose and not put it back on next week.

my knee has continued to be a nuisance. Matt says I need to go to the doctor but I now have a knee support that seems to do the job. Having said that, after yesterdays running on the treadmill it has been hurting all day today.

Maybe I will go to the doc but even if they do scan it and find what is wrong I can't see them being able to do anything about it. It's more likely I'll just get banned from doing things I want to do.

Sometimes ignorance is bliss.