Bad day

I'm totally fed up today. I shouldn't be though. I have stuck to my diet and I've been to the gym and worked of almost 500 cals according to my heart rate monitor.

But I feel really crap. I've put on so much weight I just feel like I'm heading back to where I was. I'm on my way back to being that 21 stone woman again. I've started noticing things that are a consequence of my size that haven't been there for ages but are coming back.

This morning I was looking in the mirror and thinking actually my skin doesn't look that bad and maybe it won't be as saggy as I was thinking it would be when I've finished losing weight. Then I realised the reason it's looking better and not as saggy is because I've put weight back on.

When I went to the gym I felt like I used to, really self conscious and uneasy. I just felt like I wanted to cry the whole time I was there.

And now I just want to eat, and I still want to cry. I feel like there is no point and I may as well just give up. I'm not going to. Not yet but if I carry on like this there really is no point.

After I'd typed this I thought the way I'm feeling could be a bit ott so I got out my diary and worked out where in my cycle I would be if it wasn't for depo... and yeah, that does pretty much explain it.

What is the point to an injection that gets rid of your periods if you are still going to get pmt? Yes I know it is supposed to be a contraceptive and the lack of periods is just a side effect but still...